I woke up the next morning with the worst headache known to mankind. It was one of those hangovers where your entire body feels like it’s made out of glass, and every step, every slight is like a knife sliding down your frail shell. That’s always been my problem. I can handle my liquor pretty well and never throw up, but I’m always paying for it in the morning. Every shot, every drink comes back to haunt me with nausea, migraines, sore throat and complete dyslexic confusion.
I took a look at my alarm clock, the thin judgmental red lines tutting 12:45PM. I told it to shut up as I stood and got my bearings. The room was a relative pigsty: empty beer bottles, brimming ash trays, and millions of footprints everywhere. Coupled with a hazy memory it was as if ghosts had come in the weening morning hours and had their fun at my expense. I got some quick flashes of last night all at once - laughing, an offhand joke about tossing the salad, dancing with a loose limbed sweven or three, cigarette butts in the hallway, oh shit the cops, kisses, and-…more head spins. Last night was a 20,000 piece jigsaw puzzle and my gut told me I would rather not see the full picture. A soft beep gets my attention and I see my cell phone come to life from a text message.
“Good morning…how are you feeling?”
It was Sheila. I vaguely recalled speaking to her the night before, but like most of the night the details were fuzzy. I clicked a quick response.
“Like hell is empty, and all the devils are here.”
Out of the corner of my eye I spot the toaster sitting unplugged on my dresser and a can of tuna just as randomly by its side. Dr. Jekyll strikes again, I thought, as my phone bleeps and rings.
“Soooo…hungover then?” I tried to laugh but my body had unionized and begun boycotting motor functions. No more abuse, they chanted. No more pain. No more waste, no more, no more.
“You get me.” I responded, chucking the phone carelessly in a random direction as I laid back in bed, feeling like it was just one of those days where you just want to curl into yourself and die.
So I did.