May 2013
22 posts
5 tags
It Takes Two Tango, And To Make A Mistake Worth...
I worry that I’ve reached a breaking point - on the brink of “incapable of true affection” between “too jaded to care” and “whats the point anyway.” And as I lay tall on the corner of I-only-wanted-to-love-once, wondering how long I can fake enjoying the minutiae of existing, she kisses my bare chest with those big brown eyes wondering at me. Her lips...
You put the re in my regret, a reminisce I can’t reprimand for reminding me of what we had. After all, just as iron sharpens iron, so does a friend; just as I’m-Doing-Great is just a coverup, so is I-Still-Miss-You more of a token sentiment. Something we hold close, a loud whisper in the dark, something we both feel but doesn’t need to be said. So we smile and talk shop while the...
4 tags
This Weeks Forecast: Horny With A Chance of Ugh
It’s satisfying, living in a city where the seasons are as temperamental as my heart- rushed from one extreme to the next without a cause or goodbye. Last night we were a cold shoulder low 40’s, tonight you’re in low cut shorts and I’m on fire at 85.
What is it about the heat that catalyzes your flesh and the soft bend where your spine dips? Why is a text asking me over...
7 tags
وقف يحدق وقل شيء (Stop Staring and Say Something)
The mouse, just as the mackerel and sardine, as the fawn and cub not yet a lion, must lie hidden in its tender infancy or become prey, so must a man smile and seem pleasant or find himself in the venomous fangs of his own ilk. Temper, humor, mien, vigor, strength, and bloom lie traceable in the creases of a cheek to the sourness of a laugh. Subtle notes and tones that separate the desirable and...
“We’re finally 21, where to from here?”
Twelve lovers loving, eleven lighters lighting, tentative to nothing but the click of our heels against the dark pavement shining a dim yellow brick road courtesy of faded lamp post. Tonight the city is ours, our lives are borrowed, these petty minutes still so colossal in the Summer of our hearts. She takes a breath the way she takes...
4 tags
You Come Here Often? I Want To Make You Come Here...
The dim lighting, sensuous tone, mischievous air; the bar is always in the mood. It’s the perfect escape, a fleeting haven when home is a dungeon with nothing but a bed and yesterday- self torment masquerading in dirty dishes and old movie stubs.
Took a ravish drink then watched as narcotic foam ebbed into tangled suds of webs. Through an empty glasses caught sight of a clock whine and flail, but...
4 tags
The Drive Back Home Is Always Longer When There's...
She wasn’t sure why but her heart felt empty: and how unique and bittersweet comes empathy from apathy, but I couldn’t bring myself to say a word or speak, to reach and touch and stroke or soothe or caress her misery. I could only watch her like the breeze while her life and air, the stars and love, her veiny palms and pulse were no longer hers. That kick, that thrill, that Sunday...
2 tags
Lazy Poetry Is Lazy (Season 2, Episode 1)
I found a picture of you today; a girl just like you, bright as the day.
But it wasn’t you and when I noticed
I kept it anyway.
5 tags
I Miss Missing You
Gail is laying in the hospital while I’m standing on the brink. Burning bridges as I cross them, and if I ever make it home, I’m lighting candles by the beach with starry eyes fixed on the shore. No green lights across the bay, just a vague memory or six burning bright against the flames. Time may very well heal all wounds but those scars are here to stay.
I watch her lay there...
5 tags
A bus ride from Harlem to Midtown is a slow descent from bodegas to delicatessens, bricks to brownstones. 125th Street erupts into car-horns, street vendors, shuffles of morning rush hour and the silent groaning steel of two thousand foot tall skyscrapers.
I remember New York had one of the warmest Falls I’d ever seen that year. Damp, sweaty mornings made a haze blanket all of the city in...
3 tags
Let’s See A Movie, Great Gatsby; I Know It’s Your Favorite, and I’m a little flattered you remembered. We’re driving, or rather you’re driving, while I’m staring out the window counting the shadows of where we were raised. Are-These Landmarks? Yes, that lounge is where I’d drink to forgetting you and almost died. It’s sacred ground, and I’m late for mass, and you don’t laugh because it’s not a...
4 tags
Sweetheart, Be A Sweetheart and Cut The Strings To...
Once upon a time we were free, drunk as love on Madison Avenue at eight in the morning. I was leaning against a fountain, smugly adjusting the sagging blue tie and dress shirt you coerced me into buying just half an hour earlier. We’d been wandering midtown on a carriage spurred by depravity, and as we passed an old Italian man about to open shop you neighed our gallop to admire all the silk ties...
4 tags
For Carl Solomon
Down the howls of New York City, on a small curve leaning to a begging Park Avenue slope, lay the quiet corner of Archer and Cannery Row. A street too small to see, an entire world too creased to ever come to notice. On these silent corners come priests and fiends, moms and gamblers, Johns and Pendejos to get their fix and nightly sacraments. Here in the howls of New York City, on a...
4 tags
Rose is beautiful, but she’s beautiful.
Short, just about 5’1 or 5’2 I think. I look enormous by her and I’m only 5’10, with very black and curly hair and glasses. Specifically those suddenly hipster then suddenly cool then suddenly so damn mainstream black thick rimmed glasses. Always wearing v-necks that are a little too deep even though she doesn’t have much...
5 tags
Every Single Character In Disney Movies About Bugs...
“Life is relative, it’s all relative. Like gnats. Was it gnats? Gnats or mosquitoes or some shitty little insect- they only live for a day. Their entire life span is only one fucking day. Can you imagine that? It’s not even that whole ‘only have one day to live’ thing. No, it’s worst than that. It’s twenty four hours of being born, growing up, finding someone to...
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Our Father Who Art In Heaven, It's Not Just A...
“Fine, okay,” Lilith said. “What if the bible, whichever one, pick your favorite, what if all those catastrophes really happened, really were caused by some fuckin’ divine hand. Even when the uh, those cities were rained with sulfur or ‘twenty thousand angels’ descended from heaven. Sure, maybe they were angels. Or maybe it was just hail, or a meteor shower, or...
5 tags
Stay Away From A Girl That's Bulletproof: She Can...
Some are born beautiful, some make themselves intellectuals, some take to humor and ride life on the smooth notes of laughter and warm title of Friend. Mother used to tell me, ‘Harry: everyone’s got an audience,’ and I never liked the notion because it made me think of everyone constantly on a stage, and if everyone is on a stage how can there be anyone in the audience?, and this...
3 tags
Excuse Me Miss, Do You Know How Much A Polar Bear...
It was like browsing Wikipedia- we started on the wonder of the moon and waves but before the second round made it to our lips sat six (bar) tabs open in Who Was That Guy With The Weird Accent In Usual Suspects?, and Why Do People Lose Their Balance When They’re Drunk.
“It’s her brother,” says Mark. And I wonder how one man could control an orbit.
“He died like two...
4 tags
No Means No (But It Kind Of Means "Maybe" If...
If sex sells she could make a killing with the way her legs strut across a dance floor, make a killing in her dress stretched at just the right hem to tease skin bordering on the edge of flesh.Her pussy was almost showing, I guess is what I meant just now. But it sounds better when you riddle the words just a little, because otherwise you’re just a guy that’s spent half the night...
5 tags
Rise and Ugh (aka Spoiler: The Dog Is A Metaphor...
I remember reading somewhere that the two most common causes of insomnia are anxiety and depression. I don’t feel much of either, but I also remember reading somewhere else that most people aren’t even able to tell when they’re anxious or depressed. They just go about their lives, oblivious to these underlying conditions that make them sluggish or tense. They think they’re...
3 tags
"If I Have To Go To Heaven They Better Take My...
These long drives are a husk of what we used to be, checking off lists of groceries and destinations without a clue of where we’re going. So we take the next three lefts just in case we left something behind, swing around to the other side but my three point turn is off and the look in your eye has I Just Want To Be Home written on it’s B-side. You say you’re just tired and I...
April 2013
7 posts
Three Days Ago I Found This In My Closet
I can’t help but digest the experience as something of an immaculate conception, considering I live in the second floor of a building complex and can’t begin to imagine how in the world he got into my apartment.
He’s playful, easily frightened, and very affectionate so I’ve decided to keep him.
On a related note I’m leaving Tumblr for a while because, well,...
4 tags
He Who Conquers Himself Conquers The World Chief.
I left no will or letters to dearly beloveds. The night before I tried, but after a salutation anything remotely filled with sentiment felt rudimentary and plagiaristically Dear John. Blue lines stared back at me, mocking me, like the veins mapped across my wrist waiting patiently for a razor or pulse. But neither came so easy, and I found myself with nothing else to say; even going so far as...
5 tags
“Such an one may be compared to a man who has fallen among wild beasts — he...”
– Plato, The Republic (380 BC)
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Bar Hopping, Panty Dropping, Remember Not-ing
Mourning in the morning, even by the evening, smoked in the dusk - I’m the dew that meets the sunrise. Smell me, taste me, feel me, breathe me; inhale - inhale. Don’t you know? I’m the muse that gives the dawn it’s minty kick. I’m that that chill between your toes to make you slide between the sheets, I’m that soft beat in your heart that draws your legs so close to mine....
4 tags
Can I Get Your Picture? I Want To Show Santa What...
She’s subatomic, boiling at a level just below freezing. You’ve got a profile picture that I see me in, with a red light bleeding (like a Facebook greeting,) and two clicks will bare witness that the last sweet message you ever accepted wasn’t worth the night-after reading. A face tired of punchlines, here lies another sense of humor gone rotten, here lies another mind that...
4 tags
The Perks Of Pretending To Be A Wallflower
“I could have loved you, braved the storm of those insecurities tucked neatly under the seams of your eye liner and duck-faced selfies. But how could anybody (or any body) make a lonely night any better when the affliction isn’t something so simple as missing skin and touch. There should be a question mark in that last sentence and your I Still Think About You texts.
Do you even...
4 tags
Hate Is Not The Opposite Of Love (But Getting Even...
But behind the honey hues lay something of a tragedy in her eyes. She looked around the smokey balcony and dusky rooftops a bit frantically, as if whatever she was looking for kept whizzing between the happy crowds clinking champagne glasses and inside jokes we’ll never know. For a moment it’s dancing in her palm and fingertip, the next darting between the flickers of a distant...
March 2013
32 posts
4 tags
What Do Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, A Lesbian,...
I’m in love with a lesbian. What better way to break the ice than with the cold, honest facts: I am currently emotionally invested in someone who has no mental or sensual interest in men. This woman (well, maybe more like “this girl” because she’s more of a girl than a woman in my heart. You know, free. Uncompromised. She laughs at girls with too much make up: just red lipstick for her because red...
3 tags
The Flow Of Each Stanza Is A Metaphor To A Night...
When the dark comes so do we- the beat trembles to the treble until a lighter sparks the veins in our jeans. Just bobbing, and baby press your back hard as you want, jut those hips til the beat rides out and we’re left holding onto tomorrows.
4 tags
Howdy Neighbor (Fuck, Here Comes This Jackass...
I had a dream the world was drowning and I was the only one trying to save it.
You’re probably wondering, isn’t it the other way around? But it isn’t, not in my city, where urban solitude reigns supreme. There are rules, laws nobody dares to break. Eye contact is a felony so everyone looks straight, trudging along to their jobs and bars like a workhorse and his plough; beasts of burden hauling...
5 tags
Equal Rights Means I Should Get Felt Up In The...
“What a fag!”
Put your reason to the breeze and feel the laughs and applause wind, fade, then come writhing back to a dull cackle against a wet bar and soft bass snare. A night wound deep in the brutish blues of young men soaked in a moment with no regard for consequence and too much concupiscence.
“Oh man, what a fuckin’ homo,”
Another phrase around the fire...
3 tags
You've Got A "Sexy" Hashtag Written All Over You...
I don’t even wake up with hangovers, just regrets. Instead of a migraine and stomach ache I’m wondering why I ever loved you, and her, and that cute girl that was nice to me at the Duane Reade; bag of Doritos in her hand and a sonnet in her eyes.
“You dropped this,”
“What? No, I’m sorry, that’s not mine.”
Ice breakers not breaking much. Small...
4 tags
Behind The Smiles Of Your Instagram
This City Is Alive. Can’t You Feel That Pulse Vibrating On Your Sole? I’m not sure if you mean sole or soul, but either way I’m nodding along, feeling my way down that soft hill just where your back ends. That’s when I get your back hand. Don’t Be An Ass, Just Stop, Listen, and we stop for a second trying to listen to the promised land. You hear a voice in an empty...
4 tags
And She's Got A Past Darker Than My Browser...
She was a Tuesday off from work – something strange and new, with the wits of a woman half as social and a smile you could frame. She talked a lot, and though I acknowledged a basic level of intellect in her, at the same time she never really said much. Growing as an ugly duckling never bothered her or resulted in the naive and paranoid self-conscious need for constant reassurance you tend to see...
4 tags
I Guess What I'm Trying To Say Is That The Sex Was...
Just call me Solomon: wed on a Wednesday, monotonous by Monday. But apathy will not deny blasphemies, so clandestine; how you whispered softly to my heart when were alone - as if the clock could hear and scandal, or these sullied bed sheets would reproach.
Every step you took was something of a stanza, but you never rhymed, no, because rhymes are brazen and breathing doesn’t work in...
4 tags
I've Got A Blue Rose Where My Heart Should Be
Every morning after I brush my teeth I like to let the shower run. I stand right by the tub, or sometimes I’ll sit on the toilet with the lid down, naked as can be, just listening to the shower run. I don’t know why, but the sound calms me down. It wakes me up better than any cup of coffee ever has. The trickle of water smashing against the tub and drapes, that ominous roar of a baths river...
I am in love with Tough Night. I don’t really fall in love with authors, but there is something so genuine in her scrabbles that makes the pointlessness of life seem worth it.
Don’t follow her,
I’d prefer she stay unknown and just for me.
3 tags
Tumblr Spring Cleaning: Throwing Out...
The watch and wristbands hiding the heart on his sleeve.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words and friends torment me.
“WE GOT HIM!” They sang. “HE’S DEAD! HE’S DEAD!” (re: Saddam Hussein 2006 even if he had nothing to do with 9/11 but everyone is too fucking stupid to realize that shit doesn’t matter).
People these days trying to say their...
4 tags
PROSE POETRY. PROETRY!
Another bad move, two drinks short of a bright idea. I’m not self conscious, just fumbling between your smile and how stupid this shirt fits.
I’m less than right, far from left, then again what’d you expect when the right words never write words worth your time anyway. Honey this storm is cooing and that beach is moaning for another truth, tell me baby, please be honest before...
4 tags
I Bet The Last Rule Of The Bro Code Is "Ha, Just...
One neon purple stage, three mascara studded women, seven rowdy young men and one lucky groom-to-be. John, sensible and thoughtful John, was settling down with a chipper Vietnamese girl he’d met on holiday two years ago come Spring. Tonight we see him off with too much alcohol and nude women, doubts on marriage, the male prerogative: just one chick from now ‘til forever?, a vehement...
4 tags
How Long It Takes You To Answer That 1 a.m. "Are u...
It’s half a bottle too late to talk to anyone but myself, but I’m the only one who knows that. It’s a guarded secret in the castle of my gray skull. I start to remember watching He-Man cartoons on the tiny television of my parents studio bedroom while Susan is playing with her hair, twirling each chestnut strand around her violet pink fingernails like the silver linings of bad...
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Papa Don't Preach, Because You're Drunk And Don't...
“Sometimes I take my glasses off,” He said curling a newspaper between his fingers. “Just to read, stretch my eyes. They’re like a muscle you know, your eyes. If you stretch them, work them out, they’ll get better.”
They aren’t a muscle. They aren’t a muscle and they’re just fucked. But I couldn’t tell him the fault was something in my genes, that he could somehow be responsible, or worse - that...
4 tags
She Was The Girl Of My Dreams Before My Dreams...
Alexa was a breath of fresh air in the stagnant stability we call “the day to day.” I couldn’t help but laugh and love her knack for turning any phrase into So-What?-Fight-Me-Then-Pussy, tiny knuckles to her bright brown cheeks, hair curled as sharp as her tongue. She had a vibrance that gave the stillness in my soul a shake, the echo in my laugh a stir. With a smile and shove she...
5 tags
Midnight Bebop
Friends are a strange thing. They grow, fester, detach then come around when least suspected like a flu.
Last night I had a dream that I strayed from a path and got shot straight through the hip by a small boy in a second floor balcony. Dream interpretations dot com says the hip carries the body, hence the soul.
Maybe that’s the cause.
Maybe there’s something in my center...
“When did it start? When did we get fooled into thinking all of this was okay? What? WHAT? I can barely hear you, this fucking musics way too loud. And look, that guy over there. Look, the one over there with the blue tie, he keeps looking at us. You see him? Look, watch. Just keep looking….see? You see it? He keeps looking this way. I bet he’s trying to figure out if we’re...
1 tag
Anhedonia Rhapsody
I keep a picture of you on my fridge, like you’re something I came up with in school. Whenever I’m unsure of what to do or how I’m coming off I can look you in the eyes and then I remember: no one is to be trusted. Coming to terms with the world but the friend request is still pending, at a loss for words, blank text box, unsure of what to say, and you could say...
3 tags
Hey Come A Little Closer, All This Skin Is In The...
It’s not always sad nights and heartache. Oh, if you could only see us, marching to the drum of an open bar. The songs of the repressed ring an elegy in the night, and if you fall of beat and the tempo doesn’t match your own then the DJ must be drunk because MOTHER FUCKER IT’S ON. See us dance and laugh, not a care for the bills to come. The pulse in our veins comes alive and...
3 tags
You Good? F'real, You Good? Honestly, Your Answer...
Every morning after I brush my teeth I like to let the shower run. I stand right by the tub, or sometimes I’ll sit on the toilet with the lid down, naked as the sky, just listening to the shower run. I don’t know why but the sound calms me down. It wakes me up better than any cup of coffee ever has. Water trickles, smashing against the tub and drapes, the roar of a bath circling the drain before...
